Sunday, September 30, 2012

Prohibiciones a la Belleza

p. 239, Los Cuadernos de Don Rigoberto, por Mario Vargas Llosa

Nunca verás un cuadro de Andy Warhol ni de Frida Kahlo, ni aplaudirás un discurso político, ni dejarás que se te resquebraje la piel de los codos, ni de las rodillas, ni que se te endurezcan las plantas de los pies.

Nunca oirás una composición de Luigi Nono, ni una canción protesta de Mercedes Sosa, ni verás una película de Oliver Stone, ni comerás directamente de las hojas de alcachofa.

Nunca te rasparás las rodillas ni te cortarás los cabellos, ni tendrás espinillas, caries, conjuntivitis ni ( mucho menos) almorranas.

Nunca andarás descalza sobre el asfalto, la piedra, la grava, la loseta, el hule, la calamina, la pizarra y el metal, ni te arrodillarás sobre una superficie que no ceda como la miga del chancay (antes de tostar).

Nunca usarás en tu vocabulario las palabras telúrico, cholito, concientizar, visualizar, estatalista, pepas, hollejos o societal.

Nunca tendrás un hamster ni harás gárgaras ni usarás postizos ni jugarás al bridge ni llevarás sombrero, boinas o rodete.

Nunca almacenarás gases ni dirás palabrotas ni bailarás el rock and roll.

Nunca morirás.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

My life as a duck

Three months ago, my shoulder went.  I realized the seriousness of the situation only some days later, when the pain refused to go away.  The usual solution of resting a few days and a quick physiotherapy session did not work either.  The (semi-continuous) learning process had begun.

In my self-absorbed unconscious way, I first refused to understand, and pushed myself to the limit.  Familiar routes became my worst enemies.  The struggle against my own body, against my own rebelling flesh and blood.  It did not work.  I had to learn the meaning of the word patience all over again, letter by letter, sound by sound.

Work helped, having other things to focus upon, other windmills to slay, other countries to visit, other people to argue with centered my attention on other objectives, other proximate or far-away goals.  Summer slowly went its course.  People came in and out of my life, invisible and visible borders were crossed, missions were accomplished, others were failed.  Climbing was pushed to the background by the circumstances, by the impossibility, by the unbelievable but true unpenetrable resistance i found in my own body, my own flesh not agreeing anymore with my chartered path, that murky road i had subscribed to for so long.

Months since, i am still as unsophisticated in my understanding of my own body as before (?), i still make the same mistakes, i still try to overclimb, overachieve, jump above my head by the clapping of one hand.  That is not possible, constraints are all around, screaming out loud.  Mind can be strong, willpower can be infinite, but body remains the unperceived master, the submerged boss, setting its own rules, determining its own destiny.  Nothing to change? Nothing to choose? Comply and forget, rebel and remember?

Mushotoku del Andreu? Desapegue del Txema?  Or Borjes' jardín de los senderos que se bifurcan?  Will i ever learn?  Will i stop caring and finally grow up and out of the grade obsession?  Or is that the worst of possible sins?.. Only questions remain, only pain is real.

Sunday, September 02, 2012

Summer Adieu

Summer is over, and not much to report on the climbing front for me.  Several months have gone by occupied by many activities, most not that much related to climbing.  And life still goes on in its own particular way despite that.  I am fortunate enough to have almost recovered from my shoulder injury thanks to the efforts of Andreu, and my own tireless exercising of shoulders and core strength.  Maybe this will help me in the future projects, maybe not.

The shoulder holds, pic. by Jonas

One of the activities I have been enjoying very much lately is taking pictures and learning to work on them (thanks, Jonas!).  One day my disposable income will be enough to afford a good camera, buy Lightroom, and devote myself to the contemplative, but also creative side of life.  In the meantime, however, I remain a proud weekend-warrior in most of the things I practice, last but not least photography.

Composition in the forest

Together or alone?